There still exist cultures that encourage girls to become mothers shortly after demonstrating their ability to do so. Somewhere, there is a sixteen year old changing a diaper, while simultaneously scolding a two year old. Imagine that. I know what I was like at sixteen and I certainly wasn’t mature enough to be handling such stresses.
Even in this country, though, stories of children as young as twelve having pregnancy scares make headlines. Yet, at the same time, in the news are more and more accounts of women becoming mothers for the first time at fifty plus years old. It’s almost odd to see people in their early twenties toting baby bags in many areas of the country. Women feel more pressure to build their careers first and have their children later. I’m certainly not going to argue that stance. I hadn’t planned to have my first until I was twenty-eight or so. It didn’t quite work out that way. Instead, I had number three just after my twenty-seventh birthday. Now, many of my college friends are just getting started and I’m done, preparing my youngest for kindergarten.
So often I hear mothers comment on the fact that young mothers have more energy. I assume it’s safe to say that I would be counted as a young mom and I am here to tell you that my energy levels are not anything to envy. As I write this I am making the switch from Diet Coke to iced coffee, a part of the endless stream of caffeine forever being pumped into my blood stream. It helps, but I have become quite efficient at typing as well. I can now do so with my eyes closed. So, if all else fails, I can look busy while I nap.
Coming back, temporarily, to the topic of age. I do find it interesting that the average age of a new mom varies so substantially from one area to another. When I had my first child I was living in Maine, not far from Portland. I would take my son to different group activities intended to provide socialization for infants. He wasn't old enough to get much out of it (he was about six months old when we moved to New York), but I believe that it was meant as a chance for moms to socialize, as much as it was a learning opportunity for kids. I figured it would be a good way for me to make friends in an unfamiliar area. But I was so young compared to the others.
My closest friend in Maine was thirteen years older than me. She had her first child five weeks before my first son was born. In her mid-thirties, she was much closer to the average age of new moms in that area than I was. Yet, now that I am living in my hometown once again, I find that my husband and I fit the mold quite well. Most of the moms and dads lining the sideline at the soccer games are about our age and the same is true when visiting the kids’ classrooms or planning play dates.
From this observation, I have also made another – it doesn’t matter how old you are, the sex of your baby, or your philosophies on raising children, there are certain truths that are known to all parents. One of those is the fact that the vast majority of us are nothing more than walking zombies for the first six months after a new baby arrives. From that point forward, we are just placing bets on when we might have a full eight hours of uninterrupted sleep again. All the while, we go on knowing full well that, even if the children sleep through, the mounting stress related to work, parenthood, and household responsibilities will likely be too much to allow us to enjoy eight peaceful hours.
I remember being in college and going to bed at 2:00 AM, after a night of fun, just to wake again at 7:30 AM to get ready for classes. Sure, there was some level of fatigue to be dealt with, but it wasn’t enough to stop us from making late night plans again the following evening. Given this, I assume when they say ‘children keep you young’, they mean simply that your sleep patterns are kept much closer to that of a college kid...
Even in this country, though, stories of children as young as twelve having pregnancy scares make headlines. Yet, at the same time, in the news are more and more accounts of women becoming mothers for the first time at fifty plus years old. It’s almost odd to see people in their early twenties toting baby bags in many areas of the country. Women feel more pressure to build their careers first and have their children later. I’m certainly not going to argue that stance. I hadn’t planned to have my first until I was twenty-eight or so. It didn’t quite work out that way. Instead, I had number three just after my twenty-seventh birthday. Now, many of my college friends are just getting started and I’m done, preparing my youngest for kindergarten.
So often I hear mothers comment on the fact that young mothers have more energy. I assume it’s safe to say that I would be counted as a young mom and I am here to tell you that my energy levels are not anything to envy. As I write this I am making the switch from Diet Coke to iced coffee, a part of the endless stream of caffeine forever being pumped into my blood stream. It helps, but I have become quite efficient at typing as well. I can now do so with my eyes closed. So, if all else fails, I can look busy while I nap.
Coming back, temporarily, to the topic of age. I do find it interesting that the average age of a new mom varies so substantially from one area to another. When I had my first child I was living in Maine, not far from Portland. I would take my son to different group activities intended to provide socialization for infants. He wasn't old enough to get much out of it (he was about six months old when we moved to New York), but I believe that it was meant as a chance for moms to socialize, as much as it was a learning opportunity for kids. I figured it would be a good way for me to make friends in an unfamiliar area. But I was so young compared to the others.
My closest friend in Maine was thirteen years older than me. She had her first child five weeks before my first son was born. In her mid-thirties, she was much closer to the average age of new moms in that area than I was. Yet, now that I am living in my hometown once again, I find that my husband and I fit the mold quite well. Most of the moms and dads lining the sideline at the soccer games are about our age and the same is true when visiting the kids’ classrooms or planning play dates.
From this observation, I have also made another – it doesn’t matter how old you are, the sex of your baby, or your philosophies on raising children, there are certain truths that are known to all parents. One of those is the fact that the vast majority of us are nothing more than walking zombies for the first six months after a new baby arrives. From that point forward, we are just placing bets on when we might have a full eight hours of uninterrupted sleep again. All the while, we go on knowing full well that, even if the children sleep through, the mounting stress related to work, parenthood, and household responsibilities will likely be too much to allow us to enjoy eight peaceful hours.
I remember being in college and going to bed at 2:00 AM, after a night of fun, just to wake again at 7:30 AM to get ready for classes. Sure, there was some level of fatigue to be dealt with, but it wasn’t enough to stop us from making late night plans again the following evening. Given this, I assume when they say ‘children keep you young’, they mean simply that your sleep patterns are kept much closer to that of a college kid...